A Travellerspoint blog

United Kingdom

The night before

Sore throat and mental numbness

So we're sat in Irlam at Lauren's Mum and Dad's home, watching Celebrity Big Brother, melting into the sofa and counting down the hours to our imminent advensha.

Tomorrow morning we'll be on our way to Manchester airport, over-packed bags in tow and realisation setting-in (hopefully).

Lauren has been struck down with a steadily-worsening sore throat today; which I strongly suspect is anxiety manifested.

I am currently ailment free but feeling oddly numb about everything that's happened and is about to happen.

In the past 6 months, I've abetted all of these "big" changes in my life; a drastic haircut, premeditated unemployment and technical homelessness and of course a half "gap year" around the world's largest continent.

Anyone would expect a level of apprehension, fear, nervousness, excitement, regret, anxiety, enthusiasm or, at the very least, disbelief and denial.

The only overriding feeling I have at the moment lack of feeling. I couldn't even accurately describe it as apathy. I just feel numb.

I've gone back and forth on whether this is a positive or negative thing and for the time being, I'm just accepting it. There's no point having emotional expectations or putting additional undue pressure on myself. I am just hoping I don't have some sort of meltdown after we've arrived!

We've done our last bit of re-packing, we've organised our money, our travelling outfits, our hand luggage, our paperwork and our minds as best as we can.

The day has been filled with goodbyes, in person, on the phone and on this internet thing. So our duties are, as far as we can tell, fulfilled.

It all starts tomorrow. Wish us luck.

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NB: Excuse the bad quality photo - it was taken on my laptop's inbuilt webcam in relative darkness.

Posted by advensha 14:07 Archived in United Kingdom Comments (0)

Facing fears... goodbye hair

17 inches lighter.

I've never been all that good at 'doing' things. I'm better at talking about the thing, planning the thing and just generally procrastinating around the thing. This infuriates me no-end, but I know I'm not alone in this trait. But, if 2015 stands for anything, it's doing things. Facing fears. Stepping out of comfort zones. Just generally taking responsibility for my own life and not being complacent in my own misery/boredom/dissatisfaction.

So after over a year of talking about it, I finally did it. I got my hair cut off. For those of you that aren't aware, my hair was very long; I could almost sit on it. I had had the same very long, curly hair style since I was 13. That's 14 years of pretty much the same hair. In keeping with my low-maintenance grooming philosophy, I would get it trimmed once every 12-18 months, by the cheapest hairdresser I could find. So to cut a long story short (excuse the pun), getting the majority of my hair cut off was quite a big deal (relatively speaking).

Now those of you that do know me will know that I've never been afraid of being 'different' or going against the grain. In fact, throughout my life I've actively flouted unwritten social rules with my attitude, actions and dress. But for some reason, my hair had always, at least on the surface, conformed to the feminine ideal; impractically long, sumptuous and flowery-smelling - the binary opposite of the ideal masculine mane.

But enough of the waffle and analysis, I actually did it. Well I didn't actually do anything; a lovely hairdresser called Steve partitioned my hair into four ponytails and just chopped them off. Something that seemed so big to me was over in 10 seconds. 17 inches of 14 year-old dead skin cells lay on the hairdressers' mantel.

And that was it. Easy as pie. And I fucking loved it immediately. Which was nice.

And therein lay one of the first mighty jumps from my comfy but humdrum life-sofa onto a slightly wobbly but perfectly safe podium of newness.

And there are plenty more to come.

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Posted by advensha 11:12 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged hair_cut hairdressers long_to_short drastic_change reuben_wood_manchester Comments (0)

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